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Interviews  Hibernus
Mortis
by Scott
Myers
 Miami
Florida death metal gods Hibernus Mortis have played with the likes of
Mayhem, Deicide, Morbid Angel, and more. These guys are well on their
way to being a major player in the DM underground. I had to interview
drummer Cesar Placeres because he's my friend and he's pretty cool for
a fat Cuban guy...
Hellride Music: Hey Cesar, how's
the weather in Florida?
Cesar Placeres: Dude the weather sucks here like it always
does. Shit, I think earlier today it was around 89 degrees, I had to take
my college final today, and when I got in the car it was like a fucking
oven in that car, and I burned my fingers on the leather on the steering
wheel.
Hellride Music: Tell everyone Hibernus
Mortis's history, who's in the band, and all that cool shit...
Cesar: Basically I started the band
in 96, I was sick of playing in other bands that were already formed which
were someone else's vision, I wanted to do a band which was my creation,
just something really heavy, so basically the band started as me and Ralf,
and then later on we got Doug on guitars, and eventually David on bass,
but with a couple other temporary members in between, but this line-up
has been stable for almost 3 years. In the last couple of years that we've
been together we've played shows with everybody from Morbid Angel to Mayhem
to Cannibal Corpse and Deicide and tons of other bands, we put out 2 demos,
and now we are currently in negotiations with a record label.
Hellride Music: Florida has always
been the capital of American death metal how is the scene down there nowadays?
Cesar: Uh...well it used to kick ass
in the early 90's but then died down for a while, but now it's getting
big again. Some other cool bands down here are Saq, Demonic Orgy, Deceiver,
Cyst, Premonition, Sovereign Right, Manifest Test Subject,Kult ov Azazel,
and of course signed acts like Malevolent Creation and Hateplow. There
are also tons of shite bands down here, but I won't even bother mentioning
their names.
Hellride Music: How many bands can
you name from Florida that sound exactly like Morbid Angel or Cannibal
Corpse?
Cesar: Well, bands in general have
been trying to stay away from that Cannibal Corpse style, but I've noticed
tons of bands lately playing in that Morbid Angel style, like Diabolic
sounds somewhat like Morbid Angel in a way, but not an exact rip-off.
Hellride Music: I knew you guys
were a death metal band because I couldn't read your logo, who designs
those goddamn things and why do bands insist on using them?
Cesar: My friend Nizin did our logo,
he's done artwork for Morbid Angel, Deicide and Malevolent Creation. The
reason Death Metal bands use these logos is that there is a global conspiracy
that has been around since the mid 80's that consists of making unreadable
logo's just for the sole purpose of pissing you off Scott.
Hellride Music: Have you seen eel
porn?
Cesar: All I've ever seen was just
1 picture of a chick shoving an eel down her beef curtains, but asides
from that I'm kind of an eel porn virgin.
Hellride Music: You once said Hibernus
Mortis have a combined weight of almost 900 lbs. Do you think your large-ness
makes your band's sound heavier?
Cesar: Yes, I think so, I like to starve
Ralf and Doug for weeks in a cellar right before shows, so they will pound
there guitars more viciously.
Hellride Music: You want to plug
anything?
Cesar: Yes, I would like to plug Drew
Barrymore, Lita, Laura Prepon, Nikki Cox, and Shannon Elizabeth right
in the ass.
Hellride Music: We have a mutual
friend whose name is Eric, you want to use this space to make fun of him
in a public forum? He listens to Blondie so he deserves it...
Cesar: All I can say is that Eric is
an annoying nagging cunt, but I'll be damned if that motherfucker doesn't
know how to toast the hell out of a bagel.
Hellride Music: In your opinion
is it completely gay for American death metal bands to try to copy the
Swedish DM sound? Are the bands that do it poser bitches?
Cesar: To me "real" Swedish
Death Metal was perfected by bands like Entombed, Dismember, Carnage,
General Surgery etc.... but I can not stand newer bands like In Flames
and Dark Tranquility, to me this is the complete opposite of what Death
Metal is supposed to be. Death Metal should be dirty, heavy and fucking
aggressive. But bands like In Flames are doing this wimpy clean pretty
version of what they think is Death Metal. So to answer your question,
any American bands that are trying to copy that style are gayer than George
Michael and Elton John at a foam party.
Hellride Music: Who do you think
is the hottest chick in porn?
Cesar: Well I don't really watch porn
(believe it or not), but from what I've seen, I'd say Jenna Jameson, but
Christy Canyon rules too.
Hellride Music: What are the bands
plans for the year?
Cesar: Slack...record some songs....more
slacking....try to get a record deal followed by more slacking.
Hellride Music: Do you feel like
a rock star because you're being interviewed? It's not very often a drummer
gets interviewed. Is that because nobody gives a shit about drummers or
is it because people think drummers are fucked up because they sit and
bang on shit for hours on end?
Cesar: Yes thanks Scott, you gave me
my daily ego boost. I feel like I am a bigger rock star now than Andy
Gibb and that curly haired dude from Hall and Oates combined. And yes
nobody gives a shit about drummers, but I think interviewing me was the
greatest decision you've ever made in your life. Your readers will thank
you by sending you bottles of Bullseye Barbecue Sauce and ECW bootlegs.
Hellride Music: Which 5 bands should
all be killed in the same plane accident?
Cesar: Oh man, this is such a great
fucking question, here we go: 1)Limp Bizkit, 2)P.O.D. 3)Shadows Fall 4)In
Flames 5)Metallica
Hellride Music: Honestly, did you
give a shit that the little chick from TLC got killed? Do you think she
was actually driving the car and wrecked when she couldn't see where she
was going because the condom over her eye fucked up her depth perception?
Cesar: I think it was a conspiracy,
I think her boyfriend sabotaged the vehicle, I mean if I was some big
football star and some dumb bitch burned my mansion to the ground, I'd
say she's destined for an ass whoopin' , I guess he just took it to the
next level.
Hellride Music: If Johnny Cash and
Willie Nelson ran around yelling "DEATH TO FALSE COUNTRY!" at
Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus would they be your heroes?
Cesar: Yes they definitely would, they
are the godfathers of the scene, they inhale the grim and frostbitten
arctic winds of the mountains of Nashville.
Hellride Music: Masters of the Universe
or The Punisher, which movie staring Dolph Lundgren would you rather watch?
Cesar: Wow tough call, both those movies
suck big floppy mule cock. But I guess Masters of the Universe. I was
way too upset that Punisher didn't have a skull on the front of his outfit
in the movie.
Hellride Music: Do you guys write
songs about Satan and stuff? If so, do you think Hell might have kick
ass hot tubs?
Cesar: Nah, I think songs about Satan,
and Gore, and Mountains are pretty childish, we usually either sing about
real shit or experiences, or based on some whacked out sci-fi anime flicks.
Hellride Music: Do you think Global
Warming may have been caused by Kiss' pyrotechnics team?
Cesar: Well, a combination of their
pyro team, and the massive over-use of Aqua Net hairspray by millions
of 80's cock rock glam bands.
Hellride Music: So are you guys
writing new shit right now or are you going to wait ten years between
albums so you can remain cult?
Cesar: We are currently writing tons
of new brutal shit, with plans to record sometime around October, but
if by any chance we ever took 10 years between releases, it wouldn't be
cause we were trying to be cult or anything, it would just be us being
fat lazy bastards like normal.
Hellride Music: I think we are almost
done. One more stupid question, who is gayer Halford or Manowar and why?
Cesar: I'd say Manowar, they like to
get all greased up before they go onstage, and they go out wearing nothing
but a g-string and leather chaps, at least Halford was dignified enough
to save us from such an atrocity.
Hellride Music: Thanks a lot for
doing this Cesar. Any final comments?
Cesar: Thanks a lot for the interview
Scott you rule!!! Come check us out on www.hibernusmortis.com
Stay Brutal, and May the force be with you!!!!
Copyright 2002 HellrideMusic.com
Interview by Scott
Myers 5/23/02
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